Why personal “networking” still matters…

and I do not mean adding Friends or connections on LinkedIn!

I cannot stress enough to all the young lawyers and law students I talk to about the importance of networking – not just online but in the flesh.  I am not saying that Facebook friends are unimportant or that keeping an up to date profile on LinkedIn won’t help you build your brand.  But if you only network online you are doing yourself a disservice.

How many Managing Partners or GC’s do you actually see on Facebook?  And if they were there would you really feel comfortable friending them?  Or even on LinkedIn, while messaging is nice and some believe safe, do you really expect an online connection alone is sufficient to build a lasting relationship?  I hope not.

There is still no better way to get connected, than connecting in person, and meeting people in the flesh! Now do not get me wrong — I hate going to networking events just as much as you do, particularly after a long day of work or study.  But I know that I have to be in the right place at the right time if I want to have access to the right people, and it is access that begets opportunity.  That means there’s no substitute for showing up in person and getting to know the people I believe can teach me something.  Often times this means getting outside my comfort zone, but if I am well prepared I know that will ease the awkwardness for both of us!

It is also important to keep in mind that the most effective and long lasting relationships are a two-way street.  I learn something new about myself and the world around me by meeting and getting to know other people.  But it does not stop there. It’s important to be strategic in deciding when to get involved.  And when I commit, I commit.  I do not join and then never show up.  I will very deliberately get involved in projects or committee work or even charities that are connected to the people I care about.  There is no better way to support a mentor or a sponsor or a client than by committing to support an organization or cause that they care about.  This shared interest and commitment becomes an important step in building an authentic and enduring relationship. And most often the other person will reciprocate!  Everyone cares about something and once you make that connection and begin to strengthen your personal network through shared commitments, you will be able to increase your relationship capital tenfold.

However, if you really do not care or you feel you are sacrificing too much of “who you are”, that’s probably a good sign that the relationship is not a good fit. Go with your gut and intuition because authenticity cannot be faked! The best personal network is one that feels like a natural extension of your most authentic self.